Bi-polar much? Hee hee.
It isn't that my situation has improved that much. However my Mom did read my earlier post this morning and called me because she knew (like only a mother can)that her baby needed to cry into her Mommy's bosom. Last Tuesday was my Mom's birthday and because I was dealing with my own shit and was too self-centered to reach out to others, I didn't call her. But being the "so much less than self centered" being that my mother is, she didn't hold it against me, nor take it too personally.
After a long and heart-wrenching talk with her I felt so much better. She isn't the kind of Mom that gives "ADVICE." Her wisdom and guidance is much quieter and gentler. Her support is like a fine lace-weight web that one can barely feel and scarcely sense. But is stronger than steel and more valuable than diamonds.
In addition to having the love and support of the two greatest people on earth (my parents), I got some really awesome news from Mom today. (Forgive me Mom for sharing your "secret" with the entire internet! SHHHHHHHhhhh, dont tell!)
I'm going to be a
GREAT Aunt!
I've never been really great at anything before and now I can be great at that pseudo-mothering-by-committee thing called Aunt-hood! Wee!
The fine details are that my oldest neice, Mylene, and her husband, Dean, are now KNOCKED UP!
I now have a legitimate reason to knit BABY STUFF!!
Sidenote: one of my favorite and most useful baby gifts 14 years ago was an acrylic blanket my sil, Terry, crocheted for me when I was pregnant for Mini-me. I still have it and fully intend to pass it backward to Mylene to cover that precious baby's head during a nasty midwest winter storm. This particular blanket was my "go to" blanket whenever I had to take Sarah out during that first winter. It fit perfectly over the carseat carrier and was super soft and washable. It also was just the right size and weight to throw over a shoulder to provide the perfect breast-feeding in public camoflage.
I'm so happy for my brother and my sister in law.
We aren't particularly close as it were. Partly because of our differences in age, a full fucking decade give or take a year, and partly because of just the usual lifestyle differences combined with some low-level family dysfunctions that have clouded our relationships over the years. But I've been so impressed and inspired by my brother's family over the past 25 years. When he and my SIL first met and fell in love it seemed like a match made by Disney. The frog prince and Fiona. Both of them had hearts of gold (except the prince's sisters didn't realize what a prince he really was.) and couldn't have been an odder match if one was to look at the exteriors. Terry, my SIL, was so outgoing and vivacious, plus she was the minister's daughter. My brother was shy and anti-social to an antisocial level! REALLY! (We really couldn't be any less alike and still be related) But they made it work. I don't know how.
It wasn't long and Terry announced to all of us that they were expecting. Mylene was born 9 months and a week after their wedding day. As someone much wiser than me once said, "the first one can come any time, the rest take 9 months." Unfortunately for the rest of us, and probably more than fortunately for Scott and Terry, they moved to California at this time and Mylene was born in Marin County, California. And surprise of all surprises, the older brother that couldn't be bothered to interact in any way besides negatively with his little sisters, had a baby daughter! And he became a father.
And what a father he became. We never had any doubt that Terry would be a fantastic mother, but I at least, having bared the brunt of many an assault on my psyche and occasionally on my physical being as well, had my doubts about Scott's capability as father material. In my opinion at the time, he'd pretty much failed at Brotherhood 101. But something happened and he really came into his own.
Fatherhood suited him and over the next 5 years he and Terry added two more beautiful and challenging children to their family. And through it all they've stayed the course and have been an inspiration to me and our sisters.
In addition to Mylene, they also have Michael and Nancy. Mike is a special needs adult. He is the most loving and wonderful soul, but I can't imagine that it has been easy for them to help him achieve all that he has. Sometimes I really feel for Scott because he was such a BOY and he never had a little brother to share all his gifts with, just 3 girly-girl sisters. Then when he did have a son, he came with conditions. But instead of being bitter, he made the best of the circumstance and of himself and his son. They've done so much together and Scott has really shown the patience that I didn't know he was capable of when I was his annoying little sister. But Mike is an Eagle Scout and a contributing member of adult society and most of that is because his parents never gave up and were there for him.
Nancy was the Valedictorian of her (and Mike's) class. She is her Mom's Mini-me and is as wry and witty and snarky as the best of us. She is destined for greatness. She was the baby of the family with a sister that was the super-star and the brother that she had to help along and support. She handled both roles with equal aplomb and came out on top in many regards. I wish I had had the cynicism and worldliness that this girl has in her twenties when I was her age.
When my sisters and I became mothers, Scott was the first one there to hold all those babies. He has a special touch. Every baby in our family has probably taken a nap in Uncle Scott's arms after Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner much to their mother's relief. Still to this day with all the kids, Scott is the one that is down on the floor after all the presents are opened on Christmas Day playing with the latest gadget and if given the chance, falling asleep with the youngest and their favorite stuffed animal.
Suffice it to say, I've been impressed and inspired by my brother's family over the past 25 years and am so happy for them in this new milestone. A new life is always good news and a reason to celebrate.
Bring on the Baby Cashmero and BabySoft acrylic!
