Hello...Hello....is this thing on?

Is there anybody still out there reading this?

I've had a hard time writing blog posts lately because quite frankly my blog and I seem to be having an identity crisis. I've been blogging in one place or another since about 2000. I had a Tripod site before that with family pictures and current craft projects and stuff even before that. My earlier blogs were all just personal blogs. This one even started out pretty much as a personal blog with a lot of knitting content. But then I decided to try my hand at running a small business and named it after my blog. Then this became a business blog with a strong focus on crafting. I felt the need to curb a lot of the personal stuff and to stop with the cursing!

But now that I've closed the store and just sell fabric on my etsy store there just isn't much to say in that regard. I haven't done any sewing since I packed up my machines at the store in April. They are still in boxes in the work room. I started knitting a cardigan sometime in May I think but it just sits in a bag now because I haven't been back to Friday knitting at Wool & Co. since I started it. (Knitting with a new puppy in the house is next to impossible! She grabs the needles and yarn and my hands....you get the picture.) I've all but lost all my crafting mojo.

I read a lot of blogs of all kinds. I still subscribe to a bunch of knitting and crafting blogs but many of them go unread. About a month ago I came to the shocking realization that I may be becoming one of "those" middle age women. You know the ones. The ones that say things like, "I used to do all kind of crafts." or "I sewed all my own maternity clothes and made so many dresses for my girls when they were little. But now I just don't do it anymore." etc. etc. It's not even like I don't have the time, I'm just not interested right now. I read craft blogs written by women in their 20s and 30s and see myself at that age. (It wasn't THAT long ago!) They all have such a fresh and dynamic energy about what they are doing that I seemed to have lost along the way.

I also often have a feeling of "been there, done that" when I'm reading craft blogs. My mom was a very creative woman (still is) and my sisters and I grew up doing every craft under the sun. We were also a big 4H family and every year made all kinds of projects for the county fair. Some years I would have entries in sewing, knitting, cooking, macrame, painting, basket weaving and needlework in addition to showing our horses all week. Like fashion, crafts popularity come around in cycles. So I've now been around long enough that everything old is new again. This is why sometimes I have a hard time teaching what I know because it seems like I've just always known it. I've forgotten what it was like to learn it for the first time and I have a hard time relating to my student in that way. So many of the craft blogs are written by people relatively new to their chosen art form and that is refreshing and exciting. I don't feel new and excited anymore.

So this will probably go back to being just a personal blog. I've been thinking about it and I do realize that I may have a perspective and life that might be a little unique to many of the blogs I've been reading. "Mommy blogs" are very popular and I wish that they had been around when my girls were young because I could've used the support and the outlet when I was home alone trying to keep it all together. But I did survive it and now I'm a Mom to two wonderful young women. They hate when I blog about them but no one says I can't blog about my side of things.

So in short, I can't guarantee a lot of regular craft content and if you subscribed just for that I'm probably talking to thin air anyway because I haven't offered much in the way of craft stuff in months anyway. Creativity is just part of my DNA so I'm sure I'll come back to it in some way, shape or form eventually. If you are interested in eavesdropping in on my weird, eclectic, and crazy life, stay tuned. There will probably be a lot more of that coming up. But be warned, I do swear a lot and even though I know my mother reads this on occasion, it is just who I am and I'm bound to drop a shitdamnf*ck when the mood strikes.