Open Wide

I wish I could.

I had an appointment with a new dentist yesterday. I've never been so happy when I got home from a medical appointment in my entire life except for maybe after my LASIK surgery.

For the past 20+ years there have/had been three things about my physical self that have given me grief. Number one was my years of endometriosis. From practically my first period on I suffered terribly from pain and all kinds of other nasty things. The only times I had any relief were when I was pregnant and nursing. A hysterectomy about 4 years ago changed my life. The second was my extreme near-sightedness. I got my first pair of glasses at 7 years old. When I finally got LASIK surgery and could wake up and go to the bathroom with out fumbling around my bedside table for my glasses it was like my life started all over again. The third has been the pain and immobility I have had with my TMJ since college. I don't remember specifically when my jaw problems started but I think it was sometime between when my braces came off at age 13 and getting my wisdom teeth out my freshman year of college.

I've sought treatment for this problem from every dentist I've seen for the past 20 years. I even went back to my original orthodontist (who probably caused it in the first place). I've had numerous bite guards and other dental appliances fitted. But they never got to the root of the problem. They also always fell short because most of them were made to be worn at night while I slept and while I do grind my teeth in my sleep I also clench my teeth all day, every day. I needed something I could wear while talking, eating, and just generally going about my daily activities. I also needed someone to look to the cause of my problem and not just treat the symptoms.

I think I may have just found those people. Yesterday's appointment was initially for a general cleaning and TMJ consultation. One of the things they did was measure just how far I could open my mouth. 23 millimeters. That's right, I can only open my mouth about 2 and a half centimeters. SMALL grapes are about the only whole food I can fit in my mouth, every thing else has to be cut up.

Also the hygienist that cleaned my teeth is also a TMJ sufferer and for once I didn't have a hygienist that just didn't get it that I had to take a break every 3-4 teeth to rest my jaw muscles. She didn't continually berate me to "open wider" and "don't bite down on that!" or "I'll be done in a minute." There have been dentist visits in my past where I was literally crying in pain, in my face and jaw not my teeth, by the end of my visit. The best part was that at the end of the visit they used a cold laser on my jaw muscles and joints to relieve that pain and inflammation that was inevitable from holding my mouth open for over an hour.

Even with all that special care and consideration I'm still in pain today. But I do have hope that maybe sometime in my future I may have relief from the last bane to my existence.